Chances Almost Lost
by Elegantly Chaotic
Summary: This is a Mirandy story. Rated M for later chapters.
1. Chapter 1

Chapter One

Now

It had been eight long months. Eight months since she had last looked into the stunning blue eyes that haunted her dreams. Eight months since she was able to see behind the ice queen mask and got to look at the woman who loved her children, and who was undeniably human despite what others believe. Eight months since she made the biggest mistake of her life and walked away from the woman she had fallen madly in love with and in turn ruined any chance she would have had to win her loves heart. It had only been 30 minutes that once again shattered everything around her. It had been 25 minutes since she hung up the phone after hearing that her Miranda, the woman she was head over heels in love with had been involved in a car accident and was in critical condition.

Then

Andy or Six as Nigel loved to call her had kept in touch with her friend even after she had left Runway. They met for drinks one night and got to talking about their new jobs and what was going on in their lives. Nigel had found out that Andy has been working at the Mirror for the last seven months, that due to her hard work she had already been promoted to Junior Editor and had already won several awards. Nigel was not as shocked as she expected when she told him that Miranda herself had given her a recommendation even after the way she left her in Paris. Andy found out that Miranda really did pay Nigel back for Paris by making him Editor-in-Chief of Men's Runway, a position which offered him much more control and benefits than the James Holt job ever could have. Andy also learned through Nigel that Emily had been promoted and was offered a job at Runway France but chose instead to take over Nigel's position as Art Director, due to her devotion to Miranda and her budding romance with Serena. What did come as a shock to Nigel however was when an inebriated Andy confessed to being madly in love with Miranda Priestly and that the real reason she left in Paris was because she could no longer hide her feelings and she was heartbroken by not only Miranda's betrayal of Nigel but by the fact she figured Miranda would never see her as more than the smart, fat assistant. However Nigel knew something that would surprise Andy which was the fact the Miranda was in love with her as well. Nigel had learned this piece of information after a party that was thrown to celebrate his promotion. After the party when it was just himself and Miranda both drunk, Miranda accidentally admitted her feelings for the lovely young reported but felt like Andrea could never love the almost twice her age "Dragon Lady" she walked away from because she was disgusted by the idea of being like Miranda. To say he was shocked would be a huge understatement but as quickly as Miranda had opened up she closed off, threatened him with ruin if he ever spoke a word of the conversation and then was out the door.

Nigel had always had a hunch regarding Andy's feeling for Miranda but never could have imagined the feelings being returned, and even though he could not betray Andy or Miranda's secrets of mutual feelings to each other, he could however find a way to get them together. So after a month of planning as well as bringing Emily and Serena on board they had finally came up with a plan to at least get the two women in the same place at the same time and hopefully get them to at least speak to each other. The plan however was put on hold when they received a call informing them that Miranda had been in a very serious car accident and was currently being rushed into surgery.

Now 

Andy ran into the hospital and to the waiting room where she found Nigel, Emily and Serena all sitting with solemn looks on their faces. As soon as Nigel spotted Andy he pulled her in for a hug as she broke down in tears. He explained that the doctors would not tell him much but that Miranda was in surgery due to a head injury that was causing swelling and other internal bleeding. According to Miranda's driver they were going through an intersection at a green light when a drunk driver had ran a red light and t-boned the Mercedes on Miranda's side. The impact had caused her head to whip against the window and then threw her body into the other door. Thankfully the girls were not in the car yet since they were on the way to pick them up from a school function. The drunk driver was killed in the crash. After about 30 minutes the girls showed up with their father James, who was still listed as Miranda's emergency contact. James began demanding an update on Miranda's condition but was told that he would need to wait for the doctor to come out of the surgery. After a couple of hours Emily and Serena left to go back to Runway and begin rearranging Miranda's calendar and Nigel left to try and handle anything pressing Miranda had going on that needed immediate attention, but not before a promise that they would be informed the minute James heard from the doctors. Andy who had remained silent stayed up until this point refused the offer of a ride home, stating that she would not abandon Miranda again unless Miranda wished it. This struck James as odd but Nigel only gave her a sad smile and left. As it approached 11pm, and about 2 hours since Miranda had went into surgery James had Cara take the girls home to Miranda's so they could rest and promised them he would wake them up and let them know as soon as he had an update. Around Midnight the doctor finally walked out. He informed James and Andy that Miranda had arrested once on the table and they had to resuscitate her, but they were able to stop the bleeding and the swelling, and all in all the surgery was successful and she was being moved into a private room in ICU. He also informed them that though Miranda was out of the danger zone they had no way of telling what issues may arise due to the head injury and that they would have to wait for Miranda to wake up so see if there will be any lasting damage, but it would be at least 2 days before they started reducing the medications and slowly waking her up. Andy offered to call Nigel while James called the girls, which James was thankful for. Once the phone calls were made James approached Andy to thank her for staying and asked her what her connection to Miranda was and Andy not knowing what to say just said she was a friend and left it at that. Since they would not be able to see Miranda until at least tomorrow they both headed to their respective houses for the night.

Once Andy returned home she stripped of her clothes, climbed into a hot shower and cried. She cried for Miranda, for the girls, but mainly she cried for all the lost moments she may never have been able to share with Miranda due to her fears. She promised herself that once Miranda recovered she would set out to be part of her life, even if Miranda turned her away or only wanted friendship Andy would gladly take it. She knew that either of these would break her heart but she would accept role Miranda allowed her to play in her life because she realized that you never know how much time you will have to follow your heart.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

Over the next week James would bring the twins by after school to see Miranda for a bit before taking them home. Nigel and Emily were constantly calling Andy for an update on Miranda who had yet to wake up even though the doctors had finished taking her off the sleep medication. Andy spent every free minute she could at Miranda's bedside, even managing to talk the nurses into letting her stay past visiting hours because she didn't want Miranda to be alone when she woke up. She would bring her laptop and work on her articles while talking to Miranda and begging her to open her eyes. On the seventh day after the surgery Miranda finally opened her eyes. She was confused as to what happened when she realized she was in what appeared to be a hospital. She felt a stinging in her head and reached up to find that she had a bald spot from where they had to shave for the surgery. At the same time the doctor walked in to find her awake. He explained what happened to Miranda who could not remember anything past leaving runway to go pick up the girls. The doctor noticed the look of fear on her face at the thought of her girls and quickly explained they were fine and not in the car and would most likely be by in a few hours. Knowing Miranda's reputation, the doctor mental prepared himself for the most difficult part of all, asking questions that would help determine if there were any complications from the head trauma.

"Do you know what your name is?" asked the doctor. "Of course I know my name, what kind of question is that?" replied an irritated Miranda. "I am just trying to do an evaluation to gauge if there are any complications regarding your memory due to the accident." With an agitated sigh Miranda answered "My name is Miranda Priestly, I am editor-in-chief of Runway magazine, I have two beautiful girls Caroline and Cassidy who will be turning 11 next month and a St. Bernard named Patricia." "Excellent Mrs. Priestly and can you tell me as much as you can of what you were doing before the crash?" "First of all my name is Miranda not Mrs. Priestly, secondly I was at Runway and we had just finished a horrible run through for next months issue because I am surrounded by a incompetent staff, so after relaying orders on what they needed to change I got in the car and had my driver head to pick up the girls from school." The doctor made notes on the chart recording that there seemed to be not short term memory issues at this point so he took a breath and prepared to ask his next set of questions. "Miranda can you tell me about your personal life such as are you married, seeing anyone?" Looking affronted Miranda icily responded "If you must know I have just finalized my divorce from my idiot of an ex-husband and as for if I'm currently seeing anyone I don't quite see how that is any of your business." Miranda knew the truth was that her heart belonged to a doe eyed brunette who occupied her thoughts and dreams and that she would spend the rest of her life alone because she could never settle for anyone other than her Andrea. The doctor thanked Miranda and told her to try and get some rest before leaving the room. Miranda signed and closed her eyes and drifted off to thoughts of a certain brown haired ex assistant.

Andy arrived back at the hospital about 30 minutes after the doctor had finished examining Miranda. She had run out to take care of a work issue and to change her clothes and freshen up. When she arrived she went straight to Miranda's room and took her place in the chair beside the bed but not before planting a light kiss on Miranda's cheek as she took her hand in hers. Andy had no clue that Miranda had woken up earlier as she began her usual conversation with the sleeping beauty. Miranda's first thought when she felt the light touch on her cheek and her hand being taking was that it was her girls but before she opened her eyes she heard a voice that had haunted her dreams, a voice that could belong to no one other than Andrea. When she heard Andrea begin to speak she decided to pretend she way still asleep to try and figure out why the girls who hated her and was disgusted by her would be at her bed side holding her hand.

"Good afternoon Miranda. I'm sorry I had to leave for a while but I'm here now and I will stay for as long as I can. James says he will be bringing the girls by after school to see you. Everyone is worried about you and hope that you come back to us soon. Nigel and Emily call or text me constantly to check up on you. I don't think you realize how loved you really are. God I have missed you so much over these past eight months, and while I don't regret walking away from Runway because I love my job at the Mirror I regret walking away from you because I love you even more. I have had a crush on you since the first day I saw you. You were so beautiful and just had an air about that drew me in like a moth to a flame. It wasn't until the night in Paris when I got to see the real you, I saw Miranda not the editor but just the woman and from then on I knew you held my heart. All I wanted to do was hold you and tell you what an idiot I thought Stephen was for leaving you. To beg you to give me a chance to show you how beautiful and amazing you truly are, but as quickly as you opened up you closed off told me to do my job and I fled for fear you would hear my heart breaking. It was then that I realized someone like me could never be good enough for a woman like you and so I ran off and slept with Christian and god let me tell you it was awful. Then I found out about the take over but you already knew, of course you did. Then you crushed Nigel's dreams and I realized I had to get out because I knew you had the power to crush my dreams as well and I knew that dreams were all I would ever have of you." Taking a deep breath Andy steeled her resolve, while at the same time Miranda was fighting every urge her body had to just take the girl in her arms and never let her go. She knew she should let Andrea know she was awake, that it was wrong to pretend to be asleep while the girl poured her heart out but Miranda had to hear the end. She had to know once and for all what Andrea really thought of her. "I guess what it comes down to is I love you Miranda, truly with all my heart. I love the "Ice Queen" the "Dragon", I love the mother, the editor and this accident has made me realize that I have to be in your life, if only as a friend I can't, no I won't spend another day wondering what could be when I could be living what can be" she finished as tears slid down her cheeks and her head hanging down to look at their conjoined hands.

Miranda not being able to stay silent anymore opened her eyes and stared at the beautiful girl in front of her, the young girl who had snuck in and stolen her heart, the girl who despite all Miranda's faults loved her. She squeezed the delicate hand in hers to gain the girls attention and waited until Andrea looked up and their eyes met. Andy shot up of the chair to call for a nurse but before she could say anything Miranda held up her hand, then tugged Andrea to her with the hand that she still held in hers. Once Andrea was seated on the bed Miranda cupped her cheek, looked into her eyes and said "I love you as well my precious Andrea and I know we have a lot to talk about. I'm a stubborn, difficult, workaholic who is twice you age and horrid at relationships, but if you will let me I promise to try to be the kind of woman worthy of your love because the love I feel for you is different than the love I have ever felt for anyone besides my children." Andy who up until this point thought she had to be dreaming, she did not believe that her dreams could really not be coming true because she was convinced Miranda could never lover her back but looking into Miranda's eyes she saw nothing but honesty and love. "Oh god Miranda I love you too, I never in a million years dreamed you could return my feelings and I agree we do have things to discuss and figure out and we will need to get to know each other and maybe I can take you out.…" but her ramblings were cut off when Miranda pulled her face to hers and placed the most gentle and loving kisses she had ever received on her lips. "We will talk more later darling but for now will you lay with me and rest, you look exhausted and I know I am." Andy gave Miranda a blinding smile and gently moved to lie in the bed, careful of her injuries and rested her head on Miranda's shoulder. They both knew the road ahead would not be easy and there was still a lot to figure out and would have a lot of obstacles to overcome but all that mattered in that moment was being in each others arms so with content smiles on their faces the two women drifted off into a peaceful slumber.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

It had been two weeks since Miranda had been released from the hospital and she had been back at work for a week. While Nigel and Emily had done a good job helping out they had both been busy with their new positions so this left Miranda with a lot of work to catch up on. The girls were spending the weekend at their fathers and so Miranda found herself still in the office at 10 pm on a Friday, having already sent her two assistants home. She had been pleased with Emily's replacement but had been having a hard time finding a girl who could keep the second assistant spot, because no one could be as good as Andrea. Her thoughts drifted to Andrea. They had only had time to see each other once since she got out of the hospital, but had spoken a few times over the phone but the calls we plagued with awkward silences that hey did not know how to fill. She was worried that now that death was not imminent the young girl would change her mind and realize she was only reacting to the situation and that being with Miranda was not what she really wanted. Miranda being her own worst enemy had thrown herself into work and avoided Andrea because of her fear of having her heart broken and even though she knew she was making things worse by closing into her icy persona but she could not help it. At the same time across town Andy was attempting to work on an article but could not get the thoughts of a certain blue eyed editor to go away. She was at a loss of what to do. While in the hospital they had spoken some and decided they wanted to see where things could go. Miranda had informed her that she wanted to keep things quite, especially from the girls until they were surer of where things were headed, which Andy understood completely. But now Miranda seemed distant on the phone and when they had met for lunch the easiness between them was gone and Miranda had treated her more like an acquaintance then a potential lover. She had asked Emily about Miranda and was informed that Miranda had been tearing through the office like her normal dragon self, and to anyone else it would seem like she was back to her normal self. Emily however knew better. Just then her thoughts were broken by a text from Emily, informing her that Miranda was still at the office and told Andy that needed to man up and take the initiative because Miranda was not a woman whose heart could be won lightly. Andy quickly freshened up, changed into something she hoped would draw Miranda's attention and headed out the door.

When she arrived at Runway she was thankful she was always nice to the guards because she was able to get in easily under the guise of meeting Emily. As the elevator headed up to Miranda's floor Andy began to get very nervous. "Oh my god what if Miranda is regretting everything and only said what she said because of pain meds and just doesn't think I'm worth the time to end whatever this is between us" her inner voice shrieked and Andy went to hit a button for a lower floor but was to late when the doors opened and she found herself looking at the halls of Runway. "Screw it" she though "I have to know, and if she changed her mind then so be it I'll just pick up the pieces and move on" so she steeled her resolve and quietly walked towards Miranda's office. What she saw when she arrived took her breath away. Miranda was standing up, arms wrapped around herself looking out the window and with the way the moon was shinning in casting a ethereal glow over the woman Andy knew she had never seen anything more beautiful in her life. Just as she was about to make her presence known she heard Miranda speak. "What am I supposed to do Andrea? My heart aches for you and yet my head tells me that you will only walk away again once you get to see the real me. I don't think I can stand you walking away again so I need to just let you go before it's too late." Realizing that the editor was still not aware of her presence she decided to make herself known, hoping that all the love she felt for the woman before her would be conveyed in her words. "It's already to late Miranda. My heart and my soul belong to you. And it's okay to be afraid, hell I'm terrified but I will not allow you to throw away what we have because you're scared." At the sound of another voice breaking the silence she spun around and came face to face with the girl that had been on her mind. "And what would you know about how I'm feeling, your so young what could you really know about love" spat Miranda. "I know that I love you. I know that every time I see you my heart tried to jump out of my chest just to be closer to you. I know that I dream of your face being the last thing I see before I go to sleep and first thing I see when I wake up. I know that those few days in the hospital when I got to wake up with you in my arms were the best days of my life" she replied back trying to keep her cool. Miranda gave a disdainful laugh "And what about 20 years from now, hell even 5 years from now when my age starts to show and that face you dream of seeing becomes filled with lines and gravity takes hold. You will still be so young and so beautiful and there is no way you could be happy with a frumpy middle aged woman. You deserve… you deserve someone who will make you happy. All I ever do is disappoint those I love and I am just trying to save you from heartache, don't you understand that?" "NO. What I understand is that you are trying to decide what's best for me when it's not your place. If you are scared that's fine. If you don't want to be with me that's fine but don't blame your insecurities on my youth or on trying to save me from you. I want you; you want me happy then give us a chance. Nothing is ever set in stone and for all I know in 5 years you could have grown tired of me. Trust me I have thought about all of these things as well and this is not something I am entering into lightly, but I know it's something I want more than anything in this world. So please Miranda just…." but once again she was cut of by a pair of soft lips crushing against her mouth in a kiss that instantly took her breath away. It only took her a few seconds to begin kissing back and as Miranda granted her entrance to her mouth she realized she could never give this up. After what felt like hours but was really less than a minute air became a necessity and they broke apart resting their foreheads together. "Okay" breathed Miranda "we will try this; I do want to be with you darling more than anything." After giving the editor a light kiss Andy replied "Thank you. I promise you Miranda I will not walk away again. I know things will be tough and there will be times we will need space but just know that even if I need to get away for a while I will always be back." Seeing nothing but honesty, love and even a hint of lust in Andrea's dark eyes Miranda smiled a real smile that made her eyes light up and Andy fell even further in love with her. "I believe you my love and I promise to try and be more open and share my fears instead of allowing them to run my actions." Taking a deep breath she continues"Would you come back to the town house with me? Just to sleep. The girls are with their father and I have missed feeling you next to me and holding you in my arms and then in the morning we will sit down and talk." "Of course love, there is no where else I would want to be." Taking Miranda's hand she followed the editor out of the building and to her car and when Miranda moved to hold her hand once in the car Andy knew that things would work out in the end.

When they arrived at the townhouse Miranda dismissed Roy for the evening and lead Andy into the house. Andy had been in this house everyday for months but the beauty of it still amazed her. Miranda hung up her coat and then took Andrea's coat from her and hung it up as well. She led the way up to the second floor study and by this point they were both overcome by nerves. Andy was nervous of being in Miranda's home as not her assistant but as her what, a lover or a girlfriend? Miranda was nervous because she did not know what Andrea was expecting from her tonight, but seeing Andrea wringing her hand and biting her lip which was a sign of how nervous she was gave her more confidence. "Would you like something to drink?" "Umm. Sure. I mean yes whatever you are having would be great." Miranda poured them each two fingers of scotch and then sat down on the couch making a gesture for Andrea to sit down as well. Sitting silently sipping on the scotch both women were at a loss of what to say, Andy having enough of this finished off her glass, took Miranda's empty glass and sat them both on the bar. She then took Miranda's hand, gave her a soft kiss and whispered "Let's go to bed." Miranda swallowed thickly but led Andrea to her bedroom, never once letting go of her hand. Once they reached the door Miranda took a deep breath and opened it. Andrea was in awe of the beauty of the room, every bit screaming Miranda and suddenly she felt out of place among such elegant things. Miranda sensing the change in demeanor kissed her lover gently before moving away to grab Andrea something to sleep in. Grabbing a pair of light purple silk pajamas she handed them to Andy. "These should fit you and you are welcome to use anything you need in the bathroom." Andy nodded her thanks and walked into Miranda's luxurious bathroom closing the door behind her. Sighing Miranda moved into her closet and changed into her dark blue silk nightgown, it has a slit up one side that stopped a couple of inches above her knee and she knew it made her hair and eyes look brighter. Andrea walked out of the bathroom at the same time Miranda was walking out of her closet and she felt her mouth go dry and her body heat up. Miranda looked amazing. The nightgown showed of her tone arms and dipped low enough to show the tops of creamy skin not encased in a bra and the slit up the side gave her a view of a muscular pale leg and it took everything in her to not ravage Miranda on the spot. Feeling self conscious Miranda motioned to Andy to go ahead and get into bed and then quickly moved into the bathroom to complete her nightly routine. She brushed her teeth and thought for a moment against removing her makeup but figured better to show Andrea what she looked like without it now to give her a chance to see what she was getting into before they were too involved. In the bedroom Andy was trying to get her body to calm down. She was in Miranda's clothes, in her bed with the smell of the editor all around her invading her senses. She had to remind herself that no matter how incredibly sexy Miranda looked she wanted to take this slow and prove to Miranda how much she loves and cherishes her.

After what felt like an eternity Miranda came out of the bathroom and Andy noticed that she had removed her makeup. She found that she preferred the editor's face natural because it gave her a softer look and she had to remind herself to breath and Miranda slid into bed next to her, causing the slit in her night dress to ride up. "God give me strength" she thought. They both lay on their backs looking up at the ceiling feeling like teenagers. Miranda deciding it was time for her to act like a grown woman rolled onto her side facing Andrea and motioned for the girl to come closer. Once Andrea was facing her and within arms reach she reached out and ran the back of her fingers down her face, watching as her eye's fluttered shut and a sigh escaped her lips. She smiled gently and then closed the distance to deliver a short yet firm kiss on the plump lips that had been teasing her all evening. Before she could pull away she felt fingers at the base of her neck pulling her in for another longer, slower kiss. Knowing that she was getting carried away Andrea pulled away placing one last kiss on the editors' lips and then snuggled against her just like she had in the hospital. As she felt her eyelids grow heavy she whispered "I love you." She felt a kiss being pressed to her hair and then a whispered "I love you too darling. Sweet dreams" then both women closed there eyes and drifted off to sleep, safe in each others arms.


	4. Chapter 4

**Sorry this is such a short chapter. I already have chapter 5 almost finished and the M rating will be coming into play. Thank you all for your kind words and encouragements.**

Chapter 4

Miranda and Andrea had officially been a couple for almost a month now. They were still keeping the relationship a secret but were both very happy and tried to spend as much time with each other as their busy schedules allowed. In that time they had shared many passionate make out and slight groping sessions but had yet to be fully intimate, mainly due to Miranda's hesitation. Andy knew Miranda was nervous, hell so was she. Neither had been with a woman before and they loved each other so much they each were scared to disappoint the other, but Andy could read Miranda and could tell that there was an even deeper reason behind the older woman's hesitation.

They were spending a quite evening at the townhouse while the girls were staying over at a friend's house. They both had drunk quite a bit of wine and were involved on a heavy make out session on Miranda's couch. Andy had moved her hands up to unbutton the editors' shirt when Miranda suddenly pulled away, got up and walked out of the den. Andy let out a sigh. She understood the woman was nervous but the hot and cold moods from the editor were starting to get to her. She got up and followed the older woman out of the den. "Do you not want me Miranda? I know your nervous, so am I and if your not ready I understand, I'd wait forever for you. If we are moving to fast tell me but don't just close off and shut me out. I know I'm not one of those models that you see everyday and…" she stopped talking when she saw unshed tears in those haunting blue eyes. Miranda felt an odd sense of guilt that her insecurities were causing this gorgeous woman to doubt herself. "You are so breathtakingly beautiful my sweet Andrea and I do want you so much I ache for you, but I'm not a young woman anymore." Andy started to say something but Miranda help up her hand and pressed on "I'm scared that once you see me, once my body is not longer covered in designer clothes that you will agree with my ex-husband that I'm nothing but a frigid and frumpy ice queen. What they thought never really bothered me but I know it would kill me if you…if you thought that of me. I don't, I just don't know how to be just Miranda anymore." Suddenly all the hesitancy made sense and Andy felt anger and rage building up in her body, and the desire to track down and maim these unworthy men who had made this stunningly beautiful woman feel like she was not good enough. She moved forward and cupped the editors' cheek lifting her downcast face so she could look straight into her eyes hoping that her love could see the honestly, love and passion shining there as she spoke. "You are the most beautiful woman I have ever seen, and everyday I have to pinch myself because I don't understand how I am worthy of your beauty. I see others looking at you, wishing wanting you and it's not just because of your position or your clothes it's because of you. You stunning blue eyes, your smile, the way your body and smooth silky skin puts women in their 20's to shame. Please trust me and give me the chance to prove to you just how truly beautiful you are." When Miranda went to speak she was silenced with a kiss, one that helped convey the truth to the words the younger woman spoke. Pulling back she took Miranda's hand and brought it to her lips "Let's go up to bed. It's been a long day and I just want to hold you in my arms." Smiling softly the editor allowed herself to be lead up the stairs and into her bedroom. Once they had finished their nightly routines they curled up in bed holding each other close, finding comfort in the feel of their bodies melding together. Miranda's last thought as she drifted off were of Andrea and how for the first time in a very long time she felt beautiful, just being Miranda the woman not the icon.


End file.
